Losing it

“I wouldn’t be surprised,

In the middle of the night, to

Find Vinay watching me in my room. I’d just say

“Go home Vinay, it’s creepy.””

And she laughed loudly at me, then repeated it

To everyone around me.

We are… were friends, I tried many times to be

Friendly,

And not creepy.

“You’re so touchy!”

Yes, yes I’m touchy.

Because when you stand there mocking me,

Or joking about me or saying something to get a reaction from me and think

It’s “damn funny”

You are pushing me,

From the top, of my self-esteem, into a dark pit of anxiety.

I’m scared, if I stop being touchy

Then you’ll think, it’s okay to punch me;

Then I’ll be in high school again

Getting beaten up by the boys around me.

And I’ll be losing it.

I’m scared to go to high School reunions,

‘Cos my bully’s might want to throw a punch.

Or break my face,

Just for old time’s sake.

But I still met one, he convinced me

That maybe we could be friends, again

Like we used to be.

I met him in his car, we had a nice chat

And then he asked me

To blow him and I started crying.

I was losing it,

Every step into adulthood,

I forget who I am and end up in

My very own hell, inside my head.

Rock out

Rock out because you own the Night.
Rock out out because it’s that time of the year again and you can kill tonight.
Rock out till you can’t stand on your own feet from last nights beer.
Rock out because you don’t give a damn about what they say.
Rock out because you live once and have the world to see.
Rock out till your Stoner head friend is sober to party.
Rock on because Christmas is a cold night and the only warmth is sun light.
Rock on tonight because tomorrow you might Die.
Rock on because the dead never come back.
Rock out because I own this Shit, and you, can’t, Deny.