Our Broken Hearts

Apparently, I last edited this on 10, September, 2016. Couldn’t find it on the website, so here is more depressing Poetry.

​I can’t take this anymore,
Through my cracks and;
Pores, I’ve started to break.

Like shattered dreams, I’m full
Of tears, blood and hopelessness;
Waiting to be purged.

Let the fire of our love set
Me on fire, while the flames
Engulf me, I shall be reborn.

But I was no phoenix, and
My tears could never meand
Our broken hearts.

Apparently I last edited this on 10, September, 2016. Couldn’t find it on the website, so here is more depressing Poetry.

Secret lover

​A lover waits for me at the
Dark end of a green
Road, under a dead tree.

I said hello to a catatonic face
Craving, for a lovers touch.

Walked, into the horizon.

Our demons, bonded faster than us.

Like darkness and light, our fates
Intertwined, to build a nightmare web.

We stumbled into hell and parted
Ways on the end of a highway
Fork, to meet at the next junction.

Losing it

“I wouldn’t be surprised,

In the middle of the night, to

Find Vinay watching me in my room. I’d just say

“Go home Vinay, it’s creepy.””

And she laughed loudly at me, then repeated it

To everyone around me.

We are… were friends, I tried many times to be

Friendly,

And not creepy.

“You’re so touchy!”

Yes, yes I’m touchy.

Because when you stand there mocking me,

Or joking about me or saying something to get a reaction from me and think

It’s “damn funny”

You are pushing me,

From the top, of my self-esteem, into a dark pit of anxiety.

I’m scared, if I stop being touchy

Then you’ll think, it’s okay to punch me;

Then I’ll be in high school again

Getting beaten up by the boys around me.

And I’ll be losing it.

I’m scared to go to high School reunions,

‘Cos my bully’s might want to throw a punch.

Or break my face,

Just for old time’s sake.

But I still met one, he convinced me

That maybe we could be friends, again

Like we used to be.

I met him in his car, we had a nice chat

And then he asked me

To blow him and I started crying.

I was losing it,

Every step into adulthood,

I forget who I am and end up in

My very own hell, inside my head.

Lofty Boots

Little big feet walked around
Steps closed in and days, melted into weeks.
Pretty eyes never looked; almost never,
A year and half later we talk,
Months later we’re friends.
A drunk night, he’s sleeping in my bed
I sleep, in a bed right above.
That lofty distance, will forever stay
But hope is a hopeless thing;
It doesn’t want to give up.

She hums

She’s art

She hums in whispers, a tune 

I’ve heard before, 

One my heart makes too.
She dances under the starry sky

In a little black tux, and smiles like the

Happiest memory.
Her electric blue tie, pretty hair tied

And a cigarette between her fingers

A vision that makes hearts throb.
Her tears, break hearts, little

Achy, breaky, hearts; but her heart is

Hidden beautiful at the sleeve.

Stupor

I’m spiraling down into nothingness,
Like the oblivion in her eyes. Where
worlds seemed devoid of lust, leisure, love or life.

The fast light, strong wind, showers of rain
It’s too much, can’t anymore; hope
It goes away, like the bout of happiness from yesterday.

My fingers traced the morning light on your skin,
I’ve felt you, every time I try to catch you
Light’s gone and it’s time to say goodbye.

High

I want you to love me the way I should love myself.

I’ll never be able to love you because I can never stop telling myself

that I’m not good enough, that you’re reaching way below yourself.

I can never see why people would want me

a broken mess that only tares you, when you hold it.

I’m scared if I settle down and get comfortable, you might just leave because

I might bore you.

I’m scared to say it because it might be the wrong thing, and you’d leave, again.

I can’t love you because I really don’t know… how to… Love…