Secret lover

​A lover waits for me at the
Dark end of a green
Road, under a dead tree.

I said hello to a catatonic face
Craving, for a lovers touch.

Walked, into the horizon.

Our demons, bonded faster than us.

Like darkness and light, our fates
Intertwined, to build a nightmare web.

We stumbled into hell and parted
Ways on the end of a highway
Fork, to meet at the next junction.

Lofty Boots

Little big feet walked around
Steps closed in and days, melted into weeks.
Pretty eyes never looked; almost never,
A year and half later we talk,
Months later we’re friends.
A drunk night, he’s sleeping in my bed
I sleep, in a bed right above.
That lofty distance, will forever stay
But hope is a hopeless thing;
It doesn’t want to give up.

High

I want you to love me the way I should love myself.

I’ll never be able to love you because I can never stop telling myself

that I’m not good enough, that you’re reaching way below yourself.

I can never see why people would want me

a broken mess that only tares you, when you hold it.

I’m scared if I settle down and get comfortable, you might just leave because

I might bore you.

I’m scared to say it because it might be the wrong thing, and you’d leave, again.

I can’t love you because I really don’t know… how to… Love…

Rejection

One of the many things I wasn’t prepared for in life is accepting or handling rejection.
I can think of many times I’ve been involved in destructive ways of accepting rejection.
I’ve gotten angry, lashed out at people, cried my eyes out, lived in my misery, pain and sorrow that it sometimes feels like I enjoy being miserable; a special friend once said.
Does anyone want to be miserable or sad or feel terrible? What if that’s where you feel the most comfortable because you’ve spent a lot of time there and made it your own.
You know it’s not healthy or happy, but it is normalcy that you’d sometimes want. And something you’ve wantedfor the most in life; to feel normal in an ocean of change and new.