Losing it

“I wouldn’t be surprised,

In the middle of the night, to

Find Vinay watching me in my room. I’d just say

“Go home Vinay, it’s creepy.””

And she laughed loudly at me, then repeated it

To everyone around me.

We are… were friends, I tried many times to be

Friendly,

And not creepy.

“You’re so touchy!”

Yes, yes I’m touchy.

Because when you stand there mocking me,

Or joking about me or saying something to get a reaction from me and think

It’s “damn funny”

You are pushing me,

From the top, of my self-esteem, into a dark pit of anxiety.

I’m scared, if I stop being touchy

Then you’ll think, it’s okay to punch me;

Then I’ll be in high school again

Getting beaten up by the boys around me.

And I’ll be losing it.

I’m scared to go to high School reunions,

‘Cos my bully’s might want to throw a punch.

Or break my face,

Just for old time’s sake.

But I still met one, he convinced me

That maybe we could be friends, again

Like we used to be.

I met him in his car, we had a nice chat

And then he asked me

To blow him and I started crying.

I was losing it,

Every step into adulthood,

I forget who I am and end up in

My very own hell, inside my head.

Glassy story

On a rainy night I was struck by lighting and it was the best thing that happened to me all week.
The morning after, I woke up on the street covered in muck; headed home disappointed.
I was shocked when I realised that I was made up of glass.
I’m literally invisible now and my clothes blended with me.
I wasn’t happy, at least not till I ran into her on the street.
She could see me, and her smile lit a thousand fairy lights inside of me.
We were happy and I thought the city was happy for me.
Nice things don’t last very long; she slipped and fell down.
I tried to catch her with my hands, but she managed to cut herself into three beautiful pieces.
When her head hit the floor, my heart cracked.
The rest of of me shattered as all of her hit the floor.