The brand new testament

Spoilers ahead

A sad girl with a prosthetic arm, an old man with no family, a sex maniac, a murderer, lady with a bestiality fetish and dying ten year old are the six new apostils; to help save the world from the hands of God who’s an Asshole.

Jaco Van Dormael’s the brand New Testament is a comedy that gives you new version of the story, where God is a douchebag with a wife and two children. The first child Jesus Christ is estranged (after he came down to earth) and the other child is Ea, eleven or ten years old. Ea discovers her father’s computer where he makes stupid rules to piss people off for his entertainment, things like the line you aren’t in always moves faster, bread always falls jam/butter side down and the person you fall in love isn’t the same once you’re married. He enjoys the misery of humans, whom he created from his work room on a desktop from the late . On this machine he decides the fate of the world, the disaster that strike the universe and such.

God at his Desktop, fucking with you

Ea is upset and confronts her father who attacks her; when she runs and hides from him in her room, he breaks the door open, whips her with his belt after picking her up and throwing her against the wall. God’s a drunk, violent and disgusting piece of garbage; he walks into the shower when Ea is in it and says “I made you, it is okay.” The movie helps create a god, who is so easy to hate that as the movie ends its cathartic to watch him suffer in the miserable world with hope on his shoulder but no option of escape.

The six apostils are crazy, weird, borderline psychopaths or just the embodiment of the twenty-first century human beings, from a Hollywood perspective. When my classmate saw the lady in bed with a gorilla and later with a child, she was utterly disgusted and shocked out of her mind. I don’t really have a problem because circumstantially and contextually both are consenting adults and what they do is none of my business. Among the others the murderer and sad girl with prosthetic arm fall in love, yay but it’s really annoying that he didn’t end his relationship with his WIFE first. These apostils are fucked up people in a crazy world, which makes it so real and so much more pleasurable when the escapism enters.

The God’s wife is a quite housewife who is afraid of her D-bag husband and has two interests knitting embroideries and looking at her baseball collection. The 12 twelve apostils were eighteen to create a change and start a new world and she does. The new world has trippy sky with floral patterns or mango prints (paisley) or some other embroidery patterns. I was annoyed that the goddess was such a submissive person and stays the same till the end and then it hit me? Why should she change? She’s being herself and even after liberations her interests are same and that’s very cool.


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