She’s everywhere

She’s everywhere: on my phone, in my photo gallery, my texts, my wall, my book shelf, my cupboard, my wrist, my lips, my heart and on my mind. I wanted to leave her behind, to go ahead but she’s everywhere. There traces of her smile, our laughter, hugs, memories, conversations, and empty coffee glasses scattered everywhere.
I’ve had an alternate life with her; we’ve spent a lot of time together; I haven’t been to places we often went to together, I don’t miss those places. I’m not scared of running into her, but of her walking away from me when I run into her somewhere there.
I dreamt of her on the first weekend since we stopped talking. We ran into each other and sorted the fight and hugged it out; but my instincts tell me this might be the end.
I’ve been avoiding her and the people from her life like the plague, because I may survive the plague but not her stone cold face or disgust.
I want enough courage to see her again, but I don’t know what it is going to be like after that, my biggest nightmare.



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