Waking up

I woke up gasping for breath, like almost any other day. I took a few seconds to catch my breath, its never going to be easy and will always wake me up with a jolt. Based on the season my blanket changes, in summer its usually a thin and light sheet, in monsoon its a green, woolen blanket and in winter its my thickest, furry blanket.

My grip on the blanket loosens as my breathing turns normal and i turn to my phone to check the time and its usually three or five am and I lay back. I pull the blanket closer, pulled myself in to the fetal position and listened to heavy trucks run through the roads and sometimes crash (has happened only once). The foxes in the forest get excited at midnight and howl, but during early hours its only the men in the army training camp running, as someone blows the whistle to keep them going.

If I parted the curtains of my gigantic glass wall to look out at the forest, I would have been staring at the path between the tall green trees and a group of trainees are running between three and five am. They are usually very quick and not a lot of entertainment.

I scratch an itch, then yawned for a minute. I looked at people who are online and see if there is someone I don’t mind talking too or tolerate enough to put up with so I don’t have to spend anymore time with myself or my thoughts, ideas and dreams that haunt me in my room, on my bed when I’m not fully asleep.

Music is my last resort to wake me up fully or put me back to sleep.

Some mornings I hear anklets and voices talking, my family thinks its a ghost and that its keeps helping me.

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