The glass shattered, covering the floor with shards and I knew, I couldn’t lie anymore, lie to Myself or to anyone.
I couldn’t tell myself I’m happy and definitely didn’t want to lie, it was time to come clean.
Time to cry, to scream, to howl, and tell the world to go Fuck itself. But I don’t know how to, because I’ve been holding it all back for way too long and it’s pulling me down and dragging me through crap.
The knife seems like a nice way to draw a smile across my face. The pain seems nice, comforting and sometimes, I crave for it.
I see faces drowning in pain, and a lot of them hiding behind the mask I don’t want to wear. I’m sure that is how I want to live, free from chains, make and lies, only to be told I don’t have the luxury of being myself.
Tears gushed through and I didn’t have anything else to say, I wanted to hold on; Hold on to your shoulder, to my tears, to the world’s little joys and to the last bit of innocence that died inside.
I wanted to tame the demons, hold them down and say
“it’s time for you to leave.”
If only it were so easy, to say whatever I want to.. Actually it is, only because I can stand alone, friendless and watch people walk away because there is no Mid way between honesty and lies. The blurred lines seem overly defined when tears block my eyes.