On the Operation Table

I was  watching  House  (a sitcom ) and a memory  kept flashing  in my head. It was in 2004, I was wearing a green oversized hospital robe and laid on an operation table under a local anesthetic.
I saw people in masks, hair caps and more hospital clean robes walking around me. I felt  like an alien, cut open to be studied.They started talking about how I was still conscious and how it could scare me or something  like that. I said I can close my eyes and shut them tight. I’m not sure if I actually said something but when I did shut my eyes, the lady who was worried I’ll  be scared said ‘that’ll do’ or ‘that’ll work’.
I was being operated for a dislocated elbow bone. I broke my hand when I fell sideways on to my left hand, from a slide.
I wasn’t  a stupid kid who decided, hey it’ll be fun to fall of sideways on my arm and see what happens. I was trying to dodge one of many bullies in my school at the school picnic.
He said ‘I’m gonna kick you’ and I didn’t want to be kicked. Obviously and the quickest way out was to jump and I jumped.
My arm hurt when I tried to move it and people started gasping because of the displaced elbow. I think I didn’t cry but I  was scared and people took me to the teachers. I’m not sure who did.
The  teachers were eating lunch and they asked me to wait outside the lunch  hall. In a gigantic hall and on an extremely long and oval table they were eating.
It made really sad that they treated me like leper and asked me to wait outside, instead of saying something nice or just  asking me to sit close by.
I hated my school and a lot of classmates. This memory makes hate those  teachers too.
I was there for seven years and almost all were terrible, in their own unique way. I might not have forgiven anybody  or forgotten anything, but I think, I understand them and in some distant future I might be able to forgive and or forget.


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